-
Your
ass is never a factor in a job interview.
-
Your orgasms are real. Always.
-
Your
last name stays put.
-
The garage is all yours.
-
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting
laid.
-
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new
haircut.
-
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
-
Same
work .. more pay.
-
Wrinkles-add
character.
-
You
don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments.
-
Wedding
Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
-
If
you retain water, it's in a canteen.
-
People
never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
-
New
shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
-
One mood, ALL the damn time.
-
Phone
conversations are over in 30 seconds.
-
A
five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
-
You
can open all your own jars.
-
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-
Your
underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
-
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
-
You
can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
-
Three
pairs of shoes are more than enough.
-
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours
without everthinking "He must be mad at me."
-
No maxi-pads.
-
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit,
you just mightbecome lifelong friends.
-
You
are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
-
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn
a nut on a bolt.
-
You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
-
The
same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
-
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
-
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
-
You
can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
-
Christmas
shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December24th
in minutes.
-
The world is your urinal.